Sunday 29 August 2010

A lovely dinner

While we were eating dinner, Alice let loose a barrage of flatulence so loud and long that Mom had time to glare at her, Alice to say “I’m sorry”, and still not have completed her emissions. Dad, ever able to take a bad situation and make it worse, started a conversation at the table …

Dad: Alice, I hope you don’t do that at school.

Alice: [laughs nervously]

Dad: [to Mom] OK, I should have asked.

Mom: Better to live happily in ignorance, eh?

Corwin: Alice, does your teacher ask you “what is two plus two” and you answer [Corwin makes sound effects]

Mom: Corwin, that’s enough.

Alice: My teacher doesn’t ask things like what is two plus two!

Dad: Oh, Alice. Now I am seriously concerned.

[The boys are barely able to contain their mirth at this time. Mom has to hand Charles another napkin to cover his mouth to prevent laughter flung food bits all over.]

Dad: [to Mom] You must be so proud of your daughter right now.

Alice: [burps loudly]

Dad: Alice, you’re not even on the same planet as “Princess”. Perhaps you could hop in a space ship and maybe wander in that general direction.

[Mom pretends she has no idea who these people at her table are.]

Posted by Dad about The Kids at 23:26 | Ping URL
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