[Alice is sent in to my office so she doesn’t bug Mom]
Dad: You’re in my office! That means I can pinch the biggest butt in the world1!
Alice: No!
Dad: That’s right, you told me that wasn’t true any more. You have the smallest butt in the world?
Alice: No! The mediumest butt in the world!
[Mom comes in later]
Mom: Alice! Get your feet off Daddy.
Dad: Yes, you need to be careful or you’re going to fall off my chair and bonk your head. You won’t find that a very pleasant experience.
Mom: Or you might break Daddy.
Dad: She’d just buy a new one.
Alice: No! Daddy is not breakable!
Mom: How do you know?
Alice: When I put my feet on him or jump on him, he doesn’t break.
1 Alice told me this a while back.