I was laying on the couch the other day when Alice came over and started jumping on me. And by “jumping” I mean leaping as high as she can and coming down knees first.
Dad: Oof! So who’s more fun to jump on, Dad or Corwin?
Alice: Corwin!
Dad: Corwin? Really?
Alice: Yes.
Dad: Why?
Alice: Because we need to toughen him up!
Alice takes this very seriously. I was beating on Corwin with a beating stick for being uncooperative with Mom. Alice saw this and immediately got her beating stick and started in on Corwin. I figured, hey, it saves me some work, so it’s all good.
Dad: Alice, why are you beating on Corwin?
Alice: I like it!
Dad: Did Mommy make Corwin just so you could beat and jump on him?
Alice: [gleefully, while taking another whack at Corwin] Yes!
I now don’t dare even joke about beating Corwin for some infraction or Alice will show up, beating stick in hand, demanding to help out.