The hair
[Dad spent some time this morning combing Alice’s hair, so that Mom wouldn’t suspect how much neglect Alice has suffered while Mom was greasing up potential clients with her phenomenal social skills. Definitely going to get some clean clothes on them before Mom returns too.]
Dad: We’re going to be combing a while, your hair is a mess.
Alice: OK.
Dad: Have you been practicing knot tying with your hair?
Alice: No!
Dad: Then how did it get to be such a mess?
Alice: It had some toys in it. [pause for alternative reality construction] The other day1, at school, toys got in it and messed it up.
Dad: Oh.
[preparing to depart, Alice is torn by having to choose between a stuffed princess and a stuffed Piglet for a nap companion]
Alice: I could leave Piglet in the van, or the Princess.
Dad: Or Princess and Piglet could go to school and leave Alice in the van.
Alice: No! They can’t move by themselves! They’re toys.
Dad: And Alice isn’t a toy?
Alice: No.
Dad: What about Charles?
Alice: Yes.
Dad: Charles is a toy?
Alice: Yes.
Dad: What about Corwin?
Alice: Him too.
Dad: So Charles and Corwin are just toys Mom and Dad got for you to play with?
Alice: Yes.
She’ll make a fine little sister.
1 This is one of Alice’s favorite circumlocutions. It means either “I don’t remember” or “I just made this up and don’t want to be tied down to a verifiably false time”.