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· By Karen at 10:33 on 11 Mar about A-text
· By Aunt Matilda at 15:31 on 28 Feb about School violinence
· By Deborah at 17:06 on 24 Feb about Writing as expected
· By Keith's Dad at 17:58 on 21 Feb about Writing as expected
· By Dad at 20:51 on 20 Feb about Quotidian Notes
· By Dad at 20:20 on 20 Feb about Quotidian Notes
· By Dad at 20:24 on 17 Feb about Snug-bert
· By Karen at 15:52 on 14 Feb about Snug-bert
· By Dad at 21:15 on 08 Feb about Family ski
· By Mom at 09:36 on 08 Feb about Family ski
· By Karen at 11:23 on 04 Feb about The Big Four
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Movable Type 3.34
Matters
It was a very fine day today, with the true mark of the coming Spring — the guinea pigs had a day out.
Mom found two new kids in the neighborhood today. One has been riding the school bus since the start of this school year but it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that Alice figured out her name and where she lived (Charles thought of her only as “the girl who hates me” which doesn’t really distinguish among the many girls who know Charles). Her name is Tiffany, she is in 2nd grade, and she lives a couple of houses down from where Olivia lived. Mom walked Alice and Polynomial over to the house to introduce herself and Alice and invited Tiffany back for a walk and a look at Alice’s home ground.
While there Mom found a boy, roughly Charles’ age, who lives in the house where Andreas lived back in the day. Mom convinved him to go over as well and hang with Charles, Josie, and MattF. He did play with that crew for a while until his dad dropped by to send him home. So Alice and Charles might have a somewhat better summer this year.
As part of Charles’ current mercenary attitude, he and Corwin got in to an argument at dinner about who should pay who for hugs. It rapidly escalated with various discount offers and rephrasing until Charles had to stop, having completely lost track of the offers on the table. When he asked Corwin it turned out Corwin had become completely confused as well.
I got them back when Charles asked for a glass of chocolate milk and I told him it would cost $5. I noted that his offer of $5 / hug for Mom was still operative, so he could sell Mom a hug and get enough to get a beverage. Charles’ responded by trying to rephrase the terms so he could get the drink without the hug (and in some cases, pocket $5 on top of that) but I wasn’t Corwin so Charles eventually had to give in and hug Mom. She snagged a smoochie without any additional charge. I view it as teaching Charles the advantage of double teaming for getting a better deal.
Alice has returned to her enjoyment of back scratching (which I swear I wrote about but can’t find now) with Mom as her preferred provider. I helped out the other night by getting Mom to try out a hair brush. It turns out Alice quite likes, and results in a lot less cootie transfer, something I think was really gnawing at Mom. It just so cute when Mom sits on the couch and Alice comes up, pulls up her shirt, lays down on Mom’s lap and says “my back needs scratching!”. At least she’s not trying to charge Mom for the privilege.
We were discussing Mom’s dominance of family dynamics at dinner.
Charles: [to Dad] You should be afraid of Mom.
Dad: Why?
Charles: Mom always gets her way because she so beerfull.
Mom: Because I’m fearfull? You mean fearsome?
Dad: No, I think he said “beerfull” [points at Mom’s dinner beer bottle]
Charles: Yes!
Dad: Hmmm, maybe I should look in to that.
After Charles stated his preference for splinters over Mom smoochies Mom was a bit put out. Later, at dinner, Charles offered to give Mom a hug for a small fee (originally $5000 but reduced to $5 when sales were not as good as expected). Somehow this didn’t make Mom feel any better (or maybe she just didn’t have the $5 at hand).
It didn’t get much better for Mom later. She, Alice, and I were sitting on the couch and I was trying to get at Alice’s grapey toes. Alice claimed “they’re not ripe!” even though she had told me that they would be “ripe tomorrow” the previous day. I decided that perhaps I should try something different, so I offered Alice $5 for permission to go after Mom’s toes. Alice immediately agreed and I handed her a $5 bill out of my pocket. She was so happy! (Mom, not so much). Alice spent the rest of the evening either clutching the money or carefully putting it in her pocket (then pulling it back out later). Mom figured that she’d win in the end, when Alice left the money in the pocket and Mom collected it while doing laundry, but Alice fell asleep with it in her hand which left it on the couch for me to find. So I got Mom’s toes and kept my $5! Dad rulez.
As we were leaving the Pinewood Derby Charles came out clutching his thigh and crying. A quick check revealed that Charles had a medium sized splinter embedded. Somehow, very mysteriously, it happened during or right after he was sliding around on a wooden bench. I suspect a crack splinter implant space monkey attack squad, but we’ll probably never really know.
Anyway, I didn’t have the right tools so Charles had to suffer while we drove home. I laid him out on the couch (Mom wandered by and wondered why Charles was laying on the couch, moaning, without any pants, but decided she was better off not pursuing the matter). The actual operation went well, once I sat on Charles’ leg so he wouldn’t jerk it around as I tried to get a grip on the splinter with my tweezers. Once I had that it came right out without a problem.
Afterwards, I offered to have Mom give him a smoochie to make him feel better. He refused, claiming it would hurt worse than the splinter. So I gave him a spritz of Bactine.
Alice had quite a bit of potty trouble (containment failures just short of the toilet) over the weekend. We had to clean the bathroom floor a couple of times a day from Alice’s accidents. i found it very odd that it would just be in the bathroom but never earlier than that. More annoying was when Alice wouldn’t mention it to us afterwards, until someone stepping in it.
On Monday Mom took her in to the doctor because of that and because she had some blood in her urine. The doctor said Alice has a urinary tract infection. The doctor gave Mom some anti-biotics for Alice and told us to send her back to school the next day. So far Alice hasn’t had a failure at school.
At least the kids are open with each other. On Tuesday I heard Charles and Alice talking as they arrived home about urinary tract infections and “pink pee”. I distracted them with other conversational gambits when Alice started to tell Charles about other bodily emissions. It’s good for siblings to share but perhaps not quite that much.
At Corwin’s last visit to the orthodontist I was told that he needed to have 6 teeth extracted. Yes, Corwin still had 6 baby teeth procrastinating.
However Corwin for once is helping out his family. Just today he managed to do an extraction by himself, pulling out a massively bleeding tooth. Alice and Charles thought it was very cool. I pointed out that had it been Charles he would have already been negotiating a split of the cost savings. Corwin was stunned to realize that it was actually going to cost money to have his teeth taken out. I think Charles is already making plans for when it’s his turn.
Today was Pinewood Derby Day. We didn’t start on Charles’ car until last Monday, when we put a coat of primer on the block. The real work started on Thursday, which was doable only because Charles had picked to such a simple design. I did indulge myself a bit by fiberglassing the wheels on to the car. That turned out nicely.
The race itself was very long. There were 18 cars which is more than I have seen at the event since Corwin’s first one. We went ahead and did a round robin which was 153 races, each of which was two runs. I was nominated to handle the race organization. I shouted myself almost hoarse about 15 minutes in to a 3 hour set of races. Fortunately one of the other dads helped out so I was able to remain vocal until the end.
Charles’ car did good but not great. Interestingly the top car didn’t dominate, winning 12 of 17 races, while Charles won 9, along with 3 or 4 other cars, which wasn’t good enough to place but was a decent showing. I think Charles had a good time although I think he regretted not putting more work in the car as the day wore on. Perhaps we’ll get started earlier next year.
Charles is car #8
My mom is making me write this even though I had ISAT testing last week. You’d think I would get a break after all that testing, but nooooo.
I can’t really write much about the ISATs except that they were really boring and hard. However during ISAT week I got no homework! In social studies, we worked on flash cards for a constitution test. In science we got to watch a Simspon’s episode and part of the Jetson movie. We didn’t have most of our electives that week, including strings so I didn’t have to bring my violin to school most of that week. That’s pretty much all I can say about my ISAT week.
On Saturday I went to a merit badge seminar at Holy Cross school. I was working on a chemistry merit badge, a dog care merit badge, and a photography merit badge. I had to wake up at six to get there. The flag ceremony was around 7:30 and lasted around ten minutes. My first class, chemistry started at eight, but the U of I students who were supposed to teach us were late. When they got there, the class was okay, and I should have most of the requirments done.
My next class was Dog Care. The teacher, an animal cruelty investigator, mainly talked about how dogs evolved and the types of dogs for the first hour. Then we had a break to walk around and meet Sport, the dog the teacher brought (more on the dog later). After the break the teacher talked about how to take care of a dog and the ailments of dogs. The teacher also talked about some abused dogs. One dog was owned by a mentally disadvantaged woman who had no job. The woman said that she fed her dog treats and table scraps. The dog wasn’t groomed and about a foot and half wide. The dog was about three feet from head to tail and weighed 50 pounds(Poly weighs 50 pounds). The teacher took the dog away, and sent him to the animal shelter where the dog got got fit again. The dog weighs 18 pounds now, and the dog’s name is Sport (does that ring a bell?).
After Dog Care was lunch, then photography. My dad said said that if I get the photography merit badge I get to keep his old D70 camera. Charles was enthused. The class lasted about four hours, and I learned about the camera, the rule of thirds, how to take a good picture, and probably more stuff, but I forget. I passed the final test so I guess I got the merit badge. Charles is so happy.
Charles had a pinewood derby today, but I didn’t go because I’m writing this. Oh well.
Charles and Alice were messing with me the other night so I decided to get some payback, announcing that I was going to get a “triple”. Previously I had achieved several “doubles”, pinching two different child butts at the same time (which is harder than you might think). For the triple, I started with a double and added rubbing my 3 day stubble on a tummy. Charles and Alice were very squirmy but after some strategic arrangement I managed, with Mom as a witness! Alice, of course, tried to deny me my well deserved glory afterwards by claiming first, I hadn’t pinched her butt, and two it wasn’t much of a pinch. Mom backed me up, however, and so I have that on my list of fatherly achievements.
I was helping Charles to work on his Pinewood Derby car and inquired as to what design he was thinking of. He wanted a plain white rectilinear solid with black spots and a smiley face on front, to look like Mr. Cowie. Not a particularly challenging project and I sked Charles about that. He replied that he wanted something simple so he didn’t have to work on it much.
Dad: Don’t you want to have a nice car?
Charles: Not if it’s a lot of work.
Dad: You don’t want to accomplish something with your car?
Charles: I do accomplish things. Simple things, which are easy.
Dad: That’s not much of an accomplishment, if something’s easy.
Charles: That how I like it.
Dad: You’re not going to do very well in life if you don’t try to accomplish stuff. How will you get by?
Charles: My big blue eyes.
Dad: You plan to marry some rich girl and have her keep you like a pet?
Charles: Yes. But not one that likes me.
Dad: Why not?
Charles: She might try to hug me and stuff.
Dad: Well, I am just not seeing why she would keep you around in the first place if she doesn’t like you very much.
Charles: Big blue eyes.
Dad: I think you might want to work on a Plan B.
I am beginning to regret upgrading the kids computers. I was playing Battlefield 2 with Corwin and Charles over the weekend and I was just not competive anymore. Corwin is getting to the age when his first person shooter skills are maturing (if only his math skills were doing the same) and I just don’t have the time to learn the micro-optimizations that make the difference in the game. I wasn’t totally owned but still it was very depressing. At least I can still beat them at strategy games.
One thing we have had problems with is “finger buddies”. Corwin or Charles will start with a finger buddy and the other will respond in kind. It escalates from there with laser cannons and other advanced weaponry. Alice tends to join in at that point which makes the whole “eating” part of dinner a lower priority. We have tried banning the finger buddies but that’s been only partly successful. Not infrequently I have to invite Knuckle Evil to join us to help keep the finger buddiness down to levels that permit continued consumption.
The other night at dinner we ended up on a discussion of selling off obstreperous children. Charles immediately began considering this, announce that he wanted $300K for Alice. I noted that given Alice’s age, $5K was a more reasonable. Charles said that wasn’t worth it, not enough profit for him. Mom unfortunately noted that babies in the 6 to 12 month range got the best prices, to which Charles replied “Mom! Make some more babies so I can sell them!”. Alice objected to selling any Mom produced babies and discoursed on naming and gender. I thought about all of the junk email I am getting concerning Russian mail order brides but declined to mention this as an option for Charles with regard to Corwin. I wonder if, reading this years later, Charles will curse me to not getting him started on the road to riches.
P.S. At least we know Charles places some value on his sister.
Mom’s spent the last week or so getting ready for a big junk garage sale to benefit the group that sponsors Charles’ string band. They filled most of the church annex with stuff. Mom said the sale regulars invaded at 8 AM when it opened and started grabbing things. According to Mom they didn’t even much look at what they were buying, just grabbing anything that looked potentially valuable. Mom’s main goal was to not get in between them and merchandise.
They sold a lot of stuff, even a couple of old TVs which I thought you couldn’t give away. Mom had to buy some thing the for the kids, Charles of course getting another stuffed cetecean (Beluga whale, I think) because he’s short on those.
Last week was busy for me. It was a week-o-music. I had four different music concerts and contests. I had the solo-ensemble contest, the strings concert, the concert orchestra concert, and the concert orchestra contest.
I had to practice my solo-ensemble piece for a couple weeks, and I had to practice even harder with my accompanist. I got to practice with her four times. I was supposed to only practice with her three times, but I got an extra practice because my piece was so hard. The concert was in Bloomington. My mom drove me there along with my accompanist. We got there around noon and had lunch. I had to play my song right after lunch. After I played, I had to wait till two because we had to take my accompanist home. My song got a one.
Next, I had a string festival. This was for my school group. There were also a group of fifth graders, a high school orchestra, a group of sixth graders, and a chamber orchestra group. My group played Allegro in D and Fantasia Espanola. The concert was so big, it had to be held in the gym. The concert lasted till around 8:30.
A few days later, I had a concert orchestra concert. We played Shaker Variants, Irish Party in Third Class, and Russian Sailor’s Dance. There was also concert band and 8th grade chorus. The concert lasted till around eight. There was also a contest on friday. It was for concert orchestra. Our group only played for a little, and since I didn’t have a book, and couldn’t eat because my teeth hurt like heck, I was bored.
That was my week-o-music, and now I get to look forwaard to a week-o-ISATs. Yay?
Alice decides to authorize the presence of people wearing glasses in the basement.
Charles and I went to Cub Scouts this evening and the den mother’s older (5th grade) daughter Chelsea was there as usual. She was in a feisty mood and started messing with Charles as things were breaking up. I tried to hurry things along by going out to the car but it still took Charles about 5 minutes or so to get free. He commented when he arrived that “Chelsea hates me”. I countered with the observation that girls don’t touch people they don’t like. “She wouldn’t spend five minutes grabbing you if she didn’t like you, she’d just ignore you”. This did not cheer up Charles.